Narcissus and Mr. Perfect

What is Ego and why does everyone seems to suggest that it is bad? The word means 'I' in some language, so if it just denotes the self of one, why is it bad? These questions have many overtones that require a comprehensive analysis without expecting an answer. Even in this post, I am neither giving an answer nor elaborating the problem, but just wanted to get this thing out of me, at least partly. I have encountered two instances in the last two days which made me think about this issue. The two instances are the Narcissistic syndrome and the Telugu movie Mr. Perfect.

I have always been of the opinion that I am unique and look at this world with myself at the center. The words "I, my, me, mine, myself" occur in almost every aspect of my description of the world, which I call "My world". A piece of news heard, the thought occurs - "How does this affect me or my family"? "My team must win, irrespective of the opposition and performance". "I can do anything, all I need is the will" and so on... Sometimes, I feel that I am acting in a hypocritical way. Sometimes I make statements and prolong arguments just like that. Most of all, I feel that I am different, from everyone. It isn't just that, I think anyone can do anything and no one is lesser than the other. It is just the choices people make that define them. I even feel that a person can make a choice to die or not to when someone is trying to kill him. On a whole, I feel that the world is individuals and their choices. So in "My world", I am the Subject.

How are these related to the above two instances? Hard to pin point the issue. It is that, when I am going through the article about Narcissistic Syndrome and when I was watching the movie, a part of me brought to the fore some of my actions earlier in life. I could see the striking similarity and could not stop worrying if something's wrong with me. In fact, there are a couple of lines in the movie which I have uttered to some person. I could not stop matching the events of my life with that of the protagonist's, though not in the entirely same lines of the story. As with the protagonist, I feel that "My world" is different and every one have their worlds which should not be changed for someone else. Adjustment is something I do not like to do or suggest. The most important thing in my life is myself. I was adamant that people can live without adjusting in their lives. Somehow, as the movie progressed, I felt something's wrong with this attitude (so did the protagonist). I cannot say I found the solution from the movie, but at least I found a probable defect in this attitude.

I came upon the Narcissus syndrome while wikiing about The Big Bang Theory- Sheldon Cooper. When I was in the campus, I always thought myself to be a mini-Sheldon. Somehow his attitude and his importance on structure seemed related to mine. The best example I could give is this: A friend of mine was once sad and in the conversation over sms, sent me a message saying "Listen to me a movement". Seeing that the first thought I had and the reply I sent was "It is moment not movement". And the tone of the conversation changed immediately and it was ended quickly. Thinking of that now, I feel bad that the person got hurt but am still unable to control my tendency to search for such issues with people and try to correct them. There are a couple of other instances, which on reflection, say that I might have acted in an improper way, suggesting that, "I am right and You are wrong".

May be I am wrong or may be I am thinking too much. But I am unable to figure out the problem completely. In any case, I could neither fulfill the purpose of this post due to lack of proper words nor succeed in wasting time in these less-work office days.

Movies Music and Musings

Ha, I am back! Well, this time I did not bring any news to present but brought some dust floated while cleaning my mind. It has many flavours or odours, don't know which is correct to use. Basically it is concerned with my recent activities which involved many things and one more thing which I can't reveal just now. I have this part in me which believes that I am the center of the world. That part of me basically generates My conception and description of the world and hence is an indispensible part. It gives away opinions on matters like my daily activities, emotions, plans, fantasies etc. without even considering if someone will ever mind them(That part does follow Bhagavadgita's Nishkama Karma, doesn't it!). Judging movies watched and music listened is an important preoccupation it has(Finally, I come to the point).

OK. I would never have posted this dust but wanted to because of a song I am currently listening to listening to listening to listening to listening to...... That song was pretty good that when a senior(That part wanted to add the adjective/noun stupid, but the mind as a whole rejected it. Democracy prevails!) said he did not like the songs in that movie, I found that preposterous. Wanted to let my frustration out and I am coming out like this.

I do not like hindi movies by default. But I do like many many hindi movies. But since a long time, I have not watched a single decent/good/average/OK hindi movie. All of them are simply the dark semisolid substance that comes from a kind of cattle's back. I actually did search for the list of hindi movies I saw from last year for exceptions. Sorry. None. I might not have watched some, but I use my own data to give my opinions, right? Of the English movies, Black Swan is the only name I remember as it overshadows all others. Certainly, it deserves an Oscar. No more words. The moment I started getting down the stairs from the theatre and contemplating what I have watched just then, I was filled with awe.

Now I come to my favourite part. Telugu movies! I am not sure if I like Ram Gopal Varma or not, but one reason to like him is he is just different from others. Yes, he might deliver the same dark semisolid substance but it will be from a different breed of cattle. His three movies of late worth a mention as I like them all-three-put-together. Raktha Charitra has the passion and violence, KSD Appalaraju has the sincere attempt to do something extraordinary which failed, Dongala Mutha has the 'think hatke' factor and some stupidity. On a whole, no one entertained me better than RGV recently.

Gaganam trumps all other movies released closely followed by Ala Modalaindi. These two successes remind us that people welcome good stories and nice presentation if they do not have any cast from BaBa and ChiChi families. As usual in Telugu film successes, atleast one should be from Tamil and this time it is Robo. If you have not watched it, then may Rajini help you! After a decent Brindavanam and Khaleja and uttery miserable PK's KP, I now await three more movies, Mr Perfect, Shakti and Teen Marr.

After a great track record of flops from Johnny to Komarum Puli, PK is coming with a remake of 'Love AajKal' named Teen Marr. The music by Manisharma does not get into you if you are not a fan or sympathetic of ChiChis. NTRs Shakti, less said the better. But I never heard great tracks in his movies with the exceptions of Student No. 1 and Ashok. Some tracks of Mr Perfect Prabhas do get into you, especially the ones from Shreya Ghoshal and Mallikarjun-Karthik. Heard that there is another movie in queue by the name '!00% love' starring Nag's son. But the name put me off to dig deep about it.

Yeah, that's it from me. After reading this, I feel this dust is enough to frust you and rust your brains. Ta!

News Today

Though I have started this blog long time ago, it took this long time to post something. Having trouble in making up my mind to write something, I haven't written any recently. After a long night sleep of ten hours and lazy to get ready for office, I switched on my LG Flatron TV which has a Videocon D2H connection. Browsing through the stupid list of entertainment and movie channels, I have reached the first Telugu 24x7 news channel. Was never interested in the masala news they telecast, but the background music seemed familiar and so I paused on that channel for a moment. Turned out that the music was from a Telugu dubbed Tamil movie which was a free-make of an English top rater. It was then I started to make sense of whatever they are showing.

Surprisingly, it made some sense. The newsreader is discussing a topic that made me think if I had taken any milk recently. The topic is about the use of the chemical Oxytocin in production of milk. Having been a good biology student in school, I immediately recognized that Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the pituitary gland in the brain. Its role in the fairer sex is obvious as it helps in lactation and at the time of giving birth. I have comfortably forgotten its role in males, if any. The news report says that this chemical is injected to cattle to produce more milk, understandably. But it is found that the traces of chemical are present in the produced milk, which has harmful effects on those who drink it such as inhibited growth in children etc. (Here I wondered for a second, on how the human body works. The same chemical that is useful in breast feeding and growth of child, can also inhibit the growth. Due to lack of technical or grounded data, my wondering about the functioning of the chemical was stopped prematurely). Hence, the Government banned its use in dairy industry and the sale of the chemical was limited to 'on prescription only'. But as usual in the functioning of the country, the Government order stayed with the government and the oxytocin flowed over the counters in pharmacies. A recent attack or raid on some unlucky pharmacies have brought this issue into limelight. And a part of me in my head chuckled 'Need feeds the Greed'.

Then the newsreader showed another familiar picture from my short life in Hyderabad. A picture of someone eating biryani in the Bawarchi terrace restaurant. This time the salivary glands became a little active, but the news made my jaw drop. It said that due to Global warming, the most important ingredient in biryani, the basmati rice is losing its characteristic smell and taste. Apparently, basmati rice species grows only in the subcontinent and the name means 'good smell' in Sanskrit. The newsreader said the scientists from the Indian Agricultural Research institute (whose existence I knew not before) in Delhi have found this disastrous piece of information from their lucky experiments with crops. Then came the greater tragedy, an old bald guy from the Acharya NG Ranga Agricultural University (I knew this one is in Hyderabad and can so say this news is not fake) concurred with the above statement. Now I want to have biryani the next time I go to Hyderabad, I better have as much as possible before the D-Day comes.

Then a part of me which tries to link up many things and processes so much information unknowingly in the background (heard somewhere that it is called the sub-conscious) popped up something into foreground. What happens after the D-day? If the rice loses its charm, then will the biryani makers use some chemical to get back that taste and smell to attract the customers? Will this case be similar to the oxytocin one? There came the idea to spit this thought onto the vast internet.

Now came the final piece of news of the day. The reporter on site is still trying to explain the biryani scenario when the newsreader suddenly moved the scene to our HM's conference with CMs of states. I was shocked of this sudden change in topic. Then I saw that little word 'LIVE' written on the top left corner of screen along with the saw-that-somewhere doordarshan symbol. It then reminded me that I am watching the first Telugu 24x7 news channel which thrives to be first in showing all kinds of information irrespective of the context. This rejection made me switch off the TV and look at the watch. I had to come running (not literally) to the office to post this first post that took a long time on my blog that was started a long time back.